The Zimwaddie Button (Barbara Rosen)

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  • (Posted 2020-07-06)  CPDL #59560:       
Editor: John Hetland (submitted 2020-07-06).   Score information: Letter, 12 pages, 1.06 MB   Copyright: CPDL
Edition notes:

General Information

Title: The Zimwaddie Button
Composer: Barbara Rosen
Lyricist: Barbara Rosen

Number of voices: 4vv   Voicing: SATB
Genre: SecularArt song

Language: English
Instruments: A cappella

Composed: 2018
Description: Response to a serviceman's "repair" of a vacuum cleaner by pushing a button that should have been obvious to the owner.

External websites:

Original text and translations

English.png English text

When my vacuum cleaner conked out
And refused to roar
I took it in for repair and the guy in the store
Said, “Look! She’s shut herself down!
“All you hadda do was push, push, push
“The Zimwaddie, waddie, waddie waddie button
“And you’da brought her around.
“You can see it right here:”
“Where?” “The big red button with the big red arrow.”
“Oh, there?” “Yeah.”
“So I won’t charge you for the repair:
(That’s very nice…)
“Your deposit pays for the lesson, Dear.”
(Oh, dear…)

Decades ago I feared I’d be
Condemned to perpetual virginity,
Till a married man with less scruples than skill
Deflowered me,
(Not, I fear, against my will),
Saying, “Look! You’ve shut yourself down!
“And I know just the thing to bring you around:
(You do?)
“Just let me push, push, push
“Your Zimwaddie, waddie, waddie waddie button…”
(This Zimwaddie button?)
“Nobody’s ever pushed it before
“And I’m starting to think that somebody should.”
“Good! So I’ll just push…”

When my brand new computer failed to behave
I summoned the Computer Knight, kind and brave,
To ride to my rescue on his big, white horse.
“Can you fix it, Sir?” “Yes, of course!
“Do you happen to have a power strip lying around?
(A what?)
“Never mind: it’s already found.
“I know you’re not a wire person;
“Everyone’s different for good reason.
“Good at different things:
“I’m good at computers…”
“And I compose and sing!” “Right.
 “And it wasn’t hard to resolve your plight:
“I only pushed, pushed, pushed
“The Zimwaddie, waddie, waddie waddie button…”
(Don’t show me! Don’t bother! I don’t have to know!)
And he mounted his steed and rode into the night.
(Good night.)

Some day I am going to die,
And when it happens, I fear that I
Will prove unworthy of election
With all the saints who’ve reached perfection.
My only hope’s that God, adored
As a just, wise and compassionate Lord,
Will look down from his Heavenly throne
And choose to claim me as his own.
Saying: “Look! I’m shutting you down!
“But you’ll have another chance to go around:
“Just let me push, push, push
“This Zimwaddie, waddie, waddie waddie button…”